AarinOthers

Hm... Those links were quite interesting, actually. I suppose that it's possible that I am something like that, but since I don't really understand all of the things going through my head, I wouldn't say anything for sure.

It bothers me that I'm still a little scared of what I am. I mean, I want to know myself and who I am, but I feel scared of knowing. Don't know why >_>
I mean, I'm pretty okay with sometimes feeling like I'm totally a guy, because, well... it's me. But the idea of it freaks me, somehow.

well.. I really dont know.. maybe you just have a boyish side.. and maybe it not a big deal but you just got scared it so much more than what it might be.. maybe it actually wont be suck a big problem but your scared it will??

I dont know.. but I think you might go check things out.. not just transexuals or stuff but all kind of transgender thing or other gender bender stuff..

try see if there something you feel you fit in.. or deffintly NOT fit in.. try to feel if you like this or hate this.
it might be confussing since it a pretty confussing word with guys dress up like girls, and girls who guys, and guy who want to be girls, and girl who say there both girls and guys and bla bla.

but it might clear things up a bit so you might figure out what you are.. or what your not.. or just give you a clue if you was this or that how it would be..
well.. now I dont know with your friends if you have female friends have you try ask if they have tried something simular.. I know girls and one of the girl in my class is a really tomgirl so for a time I thought she was transexual.. but she not she just really boyish
and that fine she not freaking out and no one make a big deal about it.. she just like she is.. that cool

Hm, well, I know some things I don't feel like I am. But well, I guess that I will get to know better the more I read about many different things, just as you say.

I'm not as scared anymore (wasn't very fun last year), which is kind of nice. But it can be confusing, and then it gets uncomfortable, and well...
But the thing I suppose I'm most afraid of is Labels. You know, I sort of... dislike them. In general. They're usually quite limiting, which makes me uneasy. Feels like being put in a box, you know... And people think "Aha, she's in that box, then she's like this". Or so it feels anyway.

yeah.. I know what you mean.. im pretty much in box since I have many side of me who a bit... "diffrent" but yeah that how it is.. the only think you can do is to prove it not nesasary this..... I think people made it up to make it essy.. like if I have to tell someone what yaoi is.. then I just say.. it gay team in japanise cartoons and so on..
but it not 100% correct it just the short way to say it.. should I been all correct I would say.. it gay team who can be more sexual than shounen ai, it both in japanise cartoons anime, games, fan fictions, or in dojinshi..

and you can already see there a lot to tell but the person just want to know what the word mean.. I think that why they made up the system.. but sure it can be annoying.. really specially the.. your trans cause your not being enought with yoru father, or you been violated or sexual abused or other thing like this

Hm, yeah. I guess that terms, labels and boxes need to somehow be defined, so that anyone can understand (or at least begin to understand) its contents. I guess it's just bothering me that people tend to simply accept sometimes very shortened definitions as the whole truth, without questioning if there's more to the box than what you might see at first glance.

Anyway, today was one of those days when I wake up and just feel like I'm... "merged". Lol, is that even possible to say? Well, anyway... It felt like I was both a girl and a guy, or maybe a girlish guy and a boyish girl at the same time. There wasn't really a way to define what was what in my head. And I don't really know if it's good or bad. but that's what it felt like.

It's like I have days when I'm more Something, and the next, I might be more... Something Else. Pretty difficult to define, but... Yeah, sort of feels a little like that.

uhm I know what you mean..

I got a friend who got one of the (if not)the lowest autism dignose you can get.. but he not stupid.. he might find it hard to do math and suchs but he can go to school, he can talk and hang out and do things and stuff..

I also got a dignose but mine is higher.. so in a way im "more normal" if you look at the paper.. but I dont think that cool.. I mean he not less abnormal that me..

but I know why he got it.. cause he got checked early and I got it later. and when you check for something early then you dignose get "worse" in the way that you get a dignose who say your "harder handicaped"

but I feel it so unfair.. since he really not so handicaped.. he pretty much like me.. sure we diffrent but you know.. and my teacher also been like.. well it good you with the other guys he might could give you some more to deal with something more on your level.. and I got kind of angry cause it was like I was better than him just cause I have other problems and got checked later..
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Ah... Well, I understand what you mean. things like that can be difficult, I think.

I went to my appointment yesterday, and it went pretty well. We basically talked about what factors are causing me to get stressed out, and what I can do to try to make the stress less. It seems like she's a person who's pretty easy to talk to, so I hope that I can learn something from this. ^^

he I know it might be a bit hard to imaginate.. but to imaginate your born under a dignose and you get told when your younger.. and people cant really see it and you didnt knew before you actually got told yourself.. then when people found out they dont know what it mean and start thinking things.. and somethimes it not true..

then if your friends got a lower dignose but he also got it before you, then you know it will give him more critic and less opions since people will be more sceptical..
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well you say you think this doctor say since your confussing out with these things it make your more stessed, and then she will help you take down the stress? well think it pretty true.. you can get a little stressed having these things..

Yeah, she said that we will focus on talking about stress during our meetings, and that seems very good to me. Especially since I don't get enough sleep, my grades at school are dropping dramatically and I'm always tired.
At first, it was pretty tense to actually talk about what I'm feeling with, you know, a person I have never met before. But after a while, I became more relaxed, and it actually felt really good to talk to someone about it.
Somehow, it seemed that talking about it helped straighten a few things out, even if I'm still as confused as I was earlier on...

uhm.. hehe I know it.. I dont get enought sleep either.. I think I got a hour or some more..? this night..

but well good for your you seam to like her and such.. I wish you good luck^^