AarinOthers

you to^^ I had christmas yesterday and it was great..
got a lot of good presents..

and a lot of sweet and food so I kind of feel a bit sick today
also the wholy house smeel of smoke.. oh....

monsoia: thanks for the link.. look intereting..

Hi everyone!

Er, I'm biologically a girl, but I'm very unsure of what exactly I really am. In other words, I don't have a clue >_<
I sometimes have this indescribable feeling that I'm a guy, but sometimes I'm just too much of a girl Mostly, I categorize myself somewhere in between... But well, not sure, as I said.

Welcome to the group! No need to pin point a way of being here! We are on and off active around here it seems. I check the site every once in awhile for sure.

Today I celebrate finally reaching 100 in power! I don't know why, but I've always wanted to be in the triple digits for reputation power. it's not much compared to lots of people on this site but I like it! Since i'm not on much anymore I have been stuck in the upper 90s for like a century.

How is everyone doing?

@MorningShadow: Why hello there.

I finally remembered to check in here, so I should probably do an update. My binder came in a while back and I've been wearing it off and on since then. I usually wear it to my classes (where I've also started having my profs refer to me by my chosen name and not the one in the book), but sometimes I find myself forgetting or simply not wanting to put up with it. The chairs are uncomfortable enough as is, so having to sit there with a binder is just an extra bit of nastiness.

As for work...Eh, I sometimes bind, but I usually don't. Not because I don't want to or anything, but its pretty much a comfort issue. It's just me, sitting in an office all by myself, for eight hours straight. So wearing a binder in such a situation doesn't always feel like it makes much sense to me.

Ehh, I think I'm rambling...

Unfortunately, things haven't been all roses for me. I'd forgotten that when I picked out my name, I went and changed my info on facebook. I really stopped using the thing a long time ago, but I guess I wanted to just change the info on principle or something. Completely forgetting that people and friends, you know, get updates on that stuff. And that I'm not out to those same people and friends.

So low and behold, when I check my messages yesterday, there's one in my inbox asking about the name and info change.

@monsoia:
I usually try to be active in social groups, but I guess it can depend a lot on workload

Anyway, have finally decided after a long time of thinking to actually get someone to talk to with about my very confusing thoughts. Apparently the school nurse could help me get an appointment. I hope it'll eventually help me sort things out a bit...

long time since there came anything here..
morning shadow wellcome^^... well I dont know.. but you will find out yourself.. sure you would.. it good if you talk to someone just be carefull not to belive in anything..
after all the only one who know who you are is you..

barbar: I dont find bindind troublesome when I think of what I used to do..
I have been trying really horrible metodes before binding.. so having a binding I feel it as the most confortable.. as I had even since I hit puberty.. I dont like it either is I cant feel it then I feel it dosent work and it make me feel bad.. sure it will good without but only in the free way.. I cant show me in front of anyone without it.. since my body will show..
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he I dont use facebook a lot either.. but I actually start it up as practical and as a coming out. I have some contact with chat friends and IRL friends, and then I got to talk to a lot of people and groups.. specialy I think about the GLBT youngster and about the trans group.. there this guy who contact me.. in the start I didnt knew who he was then I found out I had seen him in my mothers magazine.. hes a famours transguy "famours and famours.. but he been in magazines and stuff" I thought it so cool.. I really wanna meet him, go to this and that and so on.. sadly my mom is really stick.. she wont let me go out alone as soon it start getting dark and it dose really early at the winter. she wont either let me meet with other trans in a group since they might only be adult. and she have to know all I do.. I am really anoyed about it these days since I have got a lot of thing I could do.. normaly I dont go to town and party like most teen but now I notice it not all about me, but as much about my mother who never give me the permission.. grrr
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monsoia: I am doing up and down.. right now im pretty fine.. but I have been a bit down laterly cause of my body and such thing.. it not like I can pass, I am just nervous about if there will be a time I can't.. it make me sad.. really..

loveDkun: Yeah, I'm sure I'll figure mysel out, but it might also be good to just have someone who might help me make it a little easier to cope with all the bad stuff along with it. So yeah... It's not like I'll ignore myself. I already know that I feel "different" and that I am clearly not "just a girl". It's just difficult to cope with.

uhm yeah I understand..
it good if you have some to talk to.. you might also be a bit more clear when you can talk about.. it.. the reason I say it is cause.. I had try that I got send to doctors and they just pick up exused. they didnt say I was transexual they just pick up I wanted to be a guy cause this and that.. and I got really angry.. that just why..

I dont want it to be like that for your.. sure you can talk to someone and they can think and question.. but if anyone say your..... cause...... then you have to be skeptical and think if that really sound rigth to you too..

Ah, yeah... I don't really want excuses for whatever I feel like I am, but maybe talking about what I feel will actually make it clearer to me. Or I hope so, at least. Apparently, the people I'll talk to are used to talking to people about just about everything, so I was told that they wouldn't be all "Oh, that's just your imagination"...
I have an appointment the 19th of feb, so... two weeks left or something.

There's just so much in my head that I can't get it right, it's just messy. Kinda annoying, in a way. >_>

hehe I feel the same somethimes.. my head are a big mess bigger than my room.. hehe..

well I usunal talk to my friends.. I dont talk to them about it all the time since.. whn I learn someone new to know there like OMG so you will be a man? can they do that? what would you do? do you mean it for real? and so on.. it kind of annoying to answere the same questions again and again.. so when I am with friends I just want to talk about normal stuff you know.. but it also feel nice that if I want then I have the chance
to do it, you know talk to them..
they cant say either.. it just my imagination.. first cause I would be pissed off it they did and second cause they know me and they know that it not just how I feel today or felt yesterday..