The shy/thinkers club:)

shattered~ I'm also like that.. with people I don't know I'm usually too quiet and kinda in my own world and not joining in.
If I was in a large groups, I'd find a close friend to talk to alone and ignore everyone else, or else I'd be quiet again..

but if I am with relatives then I'm the loudest in any place and can speak non-stop

I wouldn't have been upset about the bad reps/pms/e-mails if the person actually said what I could do to not annoy them..to just say "you're really annoying" in a rep doesn't say what I can do to change that..grrrrrrrrr...

oh lol I'm the loud one that talks alot that makes it so you 2 don't lol...well not always just depends if I'm leading that day..but I also like to have one on one convos and just have a little chat with a few people..I do like to listen so I'm good either way..tho if its near a famous person I am the leader..famous people make people shy but for some reason it just makes me more willing to talk..weird..

True. It's annoying when ppl don't tell you exactly why they find you annoying. I mean, feedback (positive or negative) should be accompanied by suggestions. Otherwise, it's sort of like throwing someone in prison w/o telling them why (err.... that analogy sort of stinks, but I can't think of a decent one right now).

I have the same dilemma as shattered & nekogal. Ppl often mistake my being quiet for aloofness, but I just take longer than others to get comfortable around new ppl.

I'm just a loon who likes to talk to people and do random things..my being shy makes me louder..but it works for me most of the time..when I was promoting bands a few years ago I guess I kind of got over it..tho talking to people on the phone freaks me out for some weird reason

I swear it almost seems like i'm hearing myself talk when I'm reading your posts I have the same problem when in group. Usually, when people first met me, i tend to not even open my mouth. I need to know the person first, before i can be more spontaneous and talkative. Most people, after a while, end up saying, that in the beginning they thought i was a total antisocial person and only after they know me better, do they realize, i was just shy... Of course, not everyone is willing to stick around to see who you really are... But i guess if they can't make that tiny effort, maybe they are simply not worth the effort...

The rep thing... The concept behind it, i think it's really good. It's a method to thank someone for being there for you, for helping you, or whatever... The bad rep, it's not suppose to be a punishment (my opinion only), but maybe more , like a wake up call, a warning that something in your conduct is not right and that you may be hurting someone feelings.
But of course, like in everything, there are those who abuse this and misuse it. I can only call them childish. As long as the opinions are voiced in a respectful tone, without insulting anyone, every opinion, must be respected and heard, whether it's against our own or in favor. Only someone very childish would give bad rep to someone just for voicing out an opinion (and when this happens, i think the mods can correct that situation). Anyway, this is just my thought on the subject...

BTW, kumakun, you're posts are not like that and you're not a nosy/annoying person! I like to read your threads

I would never have pegged you as being the shy-type, kumakun But then, ppl say that about me as well!

Does anyone here get weirdly anxious when asked to speak in front of a group of ppl?

I don't like talking on the phone, either, but I once worked as a telemarketer & an operator for a home shopping network (shopnbc). I got to talk to a lot of weirdos and pervs (but there were a couple of nice ppl ~ mostly from the southern states ). It's creepy because it feels like they're in the room w/ you....

But my problem is that there are few people left who are worth the effort . Well, I'm probably not meeting the right people. But don't worry, shattered, I love language and I am utterly incapable of expressing things in a simple way because the sentence doesn't seem to mean the same then. Yet, sometimes it annoys me, especially when It takes ages to find the rifght wording...

Your description indeed fits perfectly. I'm not lacking self-confidence but when other people who scream for attention are present I have no interest in 'fighting' against them for attention. And, I think, I'm not the type of person to actually enjoy the attention of a large group of people. I can deal with such situations but I don't seek them. Evenings with a small group of friends, cooking together, drinking a glass of wine, are more my thing than noisy, crowded parties.

Hehe, you guys really are like me, lol.

"Evenings with a small group of friends, cooking together, drinking a glass of wine, are more my thing than noisy, crowded parties."

I tend to enjoy those the most, although I do like an occasional large party thingy, but I'm sort of uncomfortable when I'm the center of attention. And I don't like to talk in front of lots of people but I have to sometimes, so I really need to get over it.

Mifeman thank you I'll take a bad rep but tell me what I can do to fix it is all I'm saying..anyways in school we had to do this thing where we had to talk about other peoples personalities...it was really funny cause they all saw me as someone I didn't think I was..it was nice tho I'm loud and crazy and when people look at me I yell at them not to..my mom once told me the first thing I said when I could first talk was "don't look at me!"

me"omg look my face is twitching!"
lenny and angelo look
"omg don't look at me!"
lenny and angelo stop mid step and look like they don't know what to do..hahaha so stupid but the look on their faces was hilarious..should we look or not..i don't know what to do..you could see them thinking..

There are times when I feel more alone in a crowd than I do when I really am alone. Big parties drain me. I don't know why. Trying to make yourself heard, having ppl talk over you, is just exhausting sometimes. A nice quiet gathering w/ close friends is a lot more relaxing. Especially if you've rented a nice movie (or even a bad one w/c you can heckle a la Mystery Science Theater 3000 )