The shy/thinkers club:)

Glad you passed the exam, Sio chan!!!

Wee thank you Viccu how are you? How's your dad? How cute is the cheerleader onion head *snuggles*

Hi Sio. My dad is back to what is 'normal' for him. I on the other hand feel like I'm suffocating. Really. Everyday I watch my dad die a little more. A part of me yearns to live in denial---this is the one time I wish I was a little kid so I don't have understand...so that i can be oblivious ---and thats selfish I know but my current situation is just so frustrating. I'm living with false hope..and I hate it but I need it too. The chances that the transplant will actually happen is almost zero...I realize that fact but I can't accept that.

Damn I really want to erase what I just wrote but I won't. A part of it is because it's not everything so a real clear picture will never exist or maybe I'm just afraid that it can & don't want to see it. ---. Damn it. Ok. Forget it.

Gosh Sio. A possible broken pinky now too. I wonder what you're doing to have all these things happen to you =0) Slow down ! So anything interesting occur on the birthdays? And what happens next after these tests?

I'm so sorry Viccu, I wish there was something I could say or do to help with this but the best thing I can think of is to say that while you know how bad things are dont lose hope and try not to focus on the bad. Enjoy each day as it comes and keep hoping that things will get better. Have you talked to your dad or other family members about any of this? Maybe it would help to know what their perspective is? *hugs* If not talk to me whenever you want, I may not be able to help but I'm always here to listen.

*complete change of subject*

I went to a&e on Sunday turns out its not broken but I have sliced the tip off and pulled all the ligaments that connect said toe to the rest of my foot so we're talking some soft tissue damage - the kind that never really heals, I've done similar stuff to my ankle's and elbow, and back. It's like when you pull a muscle eventually the pain ends but its really easy to injure the same place again because its already vulnerable. Anyways the nurse practitioner tole me to take painkillers keep it clean and change the dressing on it every other day and try not to walk until the swelling goes down *shrugs* I dont think its anything I'm doing wrong exactly, I'm just really clumsy and occasionally unluckly and its just all little minor annoyances and illnessness and family issues - what can you do, accept it and move on right? ^^
So not a lot happened on he birthdays - my Nephew turned one Hes so cute and is getting really big. My Dad turned 54 and was sick on his actually birthday and didnt actually want to do anything for it so we just got a takeaway in and watched some dvds not really a big deal. And my friend turned 24 and had to work and then was sent away to some training event down in Manchester so I've still not actually gotten to celebrate her birthday properly - not even given her presents yet >.< But I'm going to try and go back to work tomorrow (I've been off these last two days with my foot and all) and hopefully I'll go see my friend after work.
Well I got my certificate so the plan is to try and get some volunteer work over the summer teaching english and save up my cash and then next academic year sept/ oct time try and get on a CELTA course (Cambridge approved English Language Teaching) Dont know where the anagram came from ^^ basically gives me the degree with which I get to go travelling the world with

everyone im back omg alittle random but just saw on the news "Chesseburger in a Can!" sounds good huh?lol anyways, so hows everyone doing?

No I haven't talked to anyone yet, Sio. Ask my friends, my family & they'll tell you I always try to tell the truth. Whether its my truth or not---I try not to hold back. BUT I can't even think of telling my mom that my dad might not make it. I know she's aware of it but I don't want to make it real for her. Or for me. Right now all this silent denial my family is dealing with is keeping the feeling of helplessness at a stand still. Torturous yes but bearable. But voicing the probabilities will bring despair & we're not at the point yet. Being surprised by death SEEMS easier to manage then when you wait for it. In all the waiting there's too much to think about. What could've been done---should have been done. And I know these thoughts are normal for any death but when the person's already passed the choice of trying to remedy that is taken out of your hands. Still alive and knowing there's no real remedy---its agonizing.

Sorry people this is really the last post on this subject. I feel like I've destroyed the whole carefree vibe of this thread. I've browsed through some pages & this is not standard talk. So on this note: I have four dogs and I need to give them all baths tomorrow! It's tiring.

Traveling! Now there's something I miss. I love traveling. I've been to a few countries (France + Monaco + Switzerland 2wks, Italy 2wks, Spain -3mo-semester abroad) but I want to go somewhere different than Europe...like Australia or Africa or China, Japan.
Which I will make sure it happens before I turn 30. Thats 5 1/2yrs...atleast one of those...we'll see.

Hi Berylcrazy =0)

Hello and welcome back Beryl!! *hugs* Chesseburger in a can? Out of curiosity how on earth does that work? Do you take it out and cook it? Does it come with the burger bun? Either way its innotive but doesnt sound very palatable ^^ might be worth trying just to try.
Viccu, you dont need to stress about what or not to post here (I mean I post all the random misfortunes that befall me and that cant be fun for other people to read >.< ) But I can understand why you dont want to talk about it so I wont mention it again but the offer stands anytime feel free if not here then pm me.
I love to travel as well but I've never stayed anywhere longer than 3 weeks and what I really want is to be a part of it all you know learn the culture/ some of the language that sort of thing which is why I thought of teaching because the post last for 6 months - a year and you have to live and work while there its very appealing but the work seems very hard going so who knows whats going to happen ^^ I'm in the same position as you I turn 30 in 6 years >.< SCARY

well i saw it on CNN and the lady looked disguised by it and so was me and my mom it looked rotton and she like went to a fancy resturent in New York and the chef let her cook it in a pan and she just cooked it in the can and then took it out and shared it with a few others and they were all disgusted by it, even the chef was freaked out!lol it comes from like Swisserland

Sounds about right ^^ doesnt surprise me that someone would come up with a way to spoil good comfort food!! I still cant get over how cute your ava is!!

Ok I've just stuffed myself with an entire battenburg cake >.< Hows everyone else?