Writing Angst

I find the hardest thing for me to write is angst. I am not sure where the line is between the right amount and too much angst. I know my own personal preference, but I am often, rightly so, accused of being a "warm and fuzzies" kind of story writer.

A large part of that is because I deal with so much horrific and depressing things in my field of study, that I don't want to come home and read sad fics, or write sad stories.

BUT

The young adult story I am working on is centered around big themes, that are scary and upsetting. I am worried that I am down playing them too much, in order not to take it too far.

Angst can be really challenging. (Not that I have much experience with it mind you)
I'm in the middle of a story myself at the moment which has a rather large quantity of angst. I am more or less continually worried I may be pulling it too far or that it's falling completely flat.

When I write angst I tend to get pulled in. On more than one occasion I've been sniffling to myself and wiping tears while writing. At that point I start wondering if anyone but me will actually find it sad at all.

What I do is decide if I want it to be slightly angsty (as in misunderstandings and a bit of hurting but nothing serious), have a fair amount of angst (someone's feelings getting seriously hurt or someone coming close to dying/losing someone) or flat out ANGSTY (as in abuse, heavy emotional baggage, betrayal). After I've decided how far I want to go I give my own feelings reign. I try to feel the pain and use that to judge if I'm going too far. I'm not absolutely sure I pull it off though... (I'll have part of my answer when the next chapter of Dirge of a Gunslinger's Soul is posted)

I have more than my share of empathy (I get infected by yawns if I see a cartoon drawing of someone yawning, if that means anything to anyone) and so I use my reactions to how my characters feel to try to judge how angsty it is.
I may be strange that way, but my characters' feelings are not my own. I can imagine their pain and empathize like I do with people I meet, but that's as far as it goes.

If their pain makes me cry I figure I got some of the angst down. If they make me flat out sob I figure I may have overdone it.

I'm the complete opposite, I can't write lighthearted stories and feel most comfortable while writing angst. I think for me, writing is therapeutic and I have to write in order to get the thoughts out of my head. I think I probably have a tendency to overdo it at times, but I want the reader to feel that pain. Maybe its best to take a step back for a minute and try looking at it objectively. Do you want your readers to literally feel your character's pain or just be aware that its there and underlying that person's actions? From what I've seen of your writing, you tend to add a lot of subtle hints and I honestly think that's the best way to do it. Even if you're talking about an in-depth description of an event, I would say try going a little farther than what you normally do. Push your comfort level a little and see what happens, you might surprise yourself. <= kinda cliche, I know. Well, I don't know if any of that made sense, I tend to ramble sometimes. >.>

@melody I don't see you rambling. I love angst, and tended to write only angst until I found some very talented authors to show me "fluff" can be very therapeutic, so I've crossed my works up a bit. Adding humor, fluff, angst to balance out my work. I can not believe I did 8 chp in an HP fic half of which is fluff and mild angst, and absolutely no smut >_< I must be losing something. I love it!

I needed a break from angst after writing a dark fiction where a child was brutally hurt. Ok I back pedaled half-way through writing and changed the entire chapter. He became a victim the survived his ordeal to point the accusing finger at his attacker and eventually seal the bastards fate.

Writing his *the childs'* perspective (I hate writing POV - first person) just his internal thoughts and desires to live another day, see his "mommy" and hope she is ok, how much he hurt inside, and his fears that the "monster man" would catch him... That caused me many a sleepless night. Do we become numb to that pain if we keep writing it, for myself I don't want to be numb to suffering, especially a child's pain.

I know what you mean (in a way Willow) I work with ppl that commit crimes against children so writing about in even in fiction is so hard, and depressing for me. Hence why I really enjoy your works, and I do expect "fluff" from you or at least a happy ending.

*_* Is it wrong for you readers to have that expectation? Do you find that bothersome that we look for some "joy" in your stories? I wouldn't say your work is predictable, its unique and always fulfilling.

@CrisNoWait: That's very true, I've come to really enjoy Orangewillow's writing and find myself in a lighter mood after reading it. There are quite a few other author's here and other places that I've come to like as well. But there are a few that take fluff waay to far, to the point of being so unrealistic. I certainly can't take much of rainbows and butterflies. I know some people enjoy it, but it just doesn't suit my taste.

I said before that I can't write lighthearted stories, that doesn't mean to say that everything I write is horrendously depressing. I do like to lighten the mood and have a nice banter between characters from time to time. I think of my writing as more bittersweet than dark. There is the presence of pain, but also, the subtle light that keeps them going. I deal more with psychological angst; such as depression or grief, rather than childhood abuse and rape. I'm not sure that I could force myself to write something like that. However, I do like to write a good horror story every now and then. I don't want to become numb, but I can't keep all those feelings locked in my head either.

Btw: I love writing first person POV, I find it a bit challenging and therefore extremely enjoyable.

@melody O___O I hope you didn't think I was insulting your style..re: first person view. One of my favorite authors does it splendidly, I just "cant" get the challenge to come over well, that was completely for myself hate of doing it. The story does not "flow" and when I re-read....U__U (hates it)

I know what you mean about "sugary sweet" stories. It takes me a while to branch out to new authors, right now I am so lusting over Lent she only writes 17- *___* The style omy gosh, I really want to finish her WIP but I put myself on rations, with what I read. My own personal adaptation so I dont "mix" styles, with my updates..*sigh* I so want to finish my stuff so I can read what "willow" updated...its killing me. I know I will break down and read..just dragging my feet to force some sort of angsty prologue..

@Ferus: Dirge makes me cry once a week on average, so I would say your angst qouta is good!

@melody: I don't find that cliched at all! The few stories that I've written that are semi-dark and angst ridden are among the stories I am most proud of. Perhaps because they were out of my comfort zone.

I always walk away with the feeling I wasted my time, after reading those too sugery sweet stories I've come across. On the other hand, stories that offer no hope at the end, for the characters or the reader are too much for me. I always strive for the medium ground.

@cris: Don't get me wrong! I love writing fluff and it does not bother me that people expect that from one of my stories.If people find joy in them, then I can not express how happy that makes me!

The feeling I am trying to express in the story isn't depression, but that gut sinking sensation of betrayal,and guilt. For the reader to walk away with the knowledge that knowing and doing nothing is worse, more evil then doing evil things. (If that makes sense to anybody other than me) I am not expressing myself well today. Sorry all!

I love writing angst ^^ It is the one thing in writing I'm good at. Few nights ago I wrote the outline for the fist 18 to 20 chapters of my story Black Sheep (old version can be found through my profile) and I have been rewriting it, will put the first chapter online here somewhere in the near future. But because I didn't want to dump it all at once on the reader I began writing an outline (after reading about it and actually liking the way they descibes different ways of outline writing).
So now I have an outline for the first major event in the story, it will have 3 major events, the next 2 will be written when I got to the end of this one because of all involved. The main character had some dirst stuff in the past, a lot of mental baggage as to say. So dumping it all at once on the reader would be very bad. Now I portioned the dumping in small bits at the time, leaving the reader (and the seccond important char) guessing at what had happened.

wow I've wanted to give my opinion about angst. I am unfortunately one of those people that can't do it in my own writing but can see it in others. (I have no idea why that is but I've proven it to myself). There is this recurring problem I find with angst; overplaying it! There are people who just don't know when its enough. As in the main character was raped, abused, sold to a ***** house, bought by an abusive guy, nearly killed and there is no part of his life that is joyous. "too much of something is poisonous." its as simple as that; however there is a way to make all of that seem believable and that is through character developement (nightmares, detachment with other charaters, bad attitude, break down) those examples help, i should mention Angst is a slow process, you cannot try and rush it and expect the readers to believe it. there really is quite alot to angst but thats all I can say about it, and my advice is, sometimes a little bit of angst can be really sad.

Okay, so I realize this post is over a year old but I just felt like I had something to say. I totally agree with ghettoe. Angst must come in small quantities. There is quite a difference between angst and tragedy and melodrama. I find that some writers, because they want to stir something in their readers, device these melodramatic plots that are not only hard to believe but also very difficult to relate to.

I think a reader can feel much more angst and even be brought to tears, so to speak, if he/she reads a situation that can, eventually, happen to them or has happened to them. Like say, when you write about someone dying, or being ill, or raped or just this one thing that can happen to anyone. But if you write about a character who loses someone, and the gets raped and so on and so forth, I think readers go, "well, **** like this happens, true. But it's not like it will happen to me, or to anyone I know because seriously, how much can destiny hate you?" So they can't really relate to all these tragedies. In my opinion, readers relate to one or two of these situations at once.

Also, I find the best angst is not the one where the world is this dark horrible place and you might as well be dead because life is just that horrible. To me, the best angst is the one that can manage a little bit of sunlight in the darkness. Because that's life. It's sad but happy and such a mess that keeps moving along no matter what. So when I read a story that focuses on one or two sad/tragic situations but that at the same time has warm moments it can very well make me cry. And I think that's the trick. You have to find a balance between the horrible stuff and some goodness. To me the best of angst is the bittersweetness - I think I just made up this word - in it. Which is really hard to achieve because writers try, seeing as they are writing angst, to concentrate on the bad and forget the good. In my personal experience, this process of bringing out some light has been somewhat difficult, especially towards the end. Having someone to read my stuff and giving me honest feedback has helped me A LOT.