AarinNerds

i tend to agree with artemis. speaking as a male, i find most m/f relationships irritating. maybe its because i know my sister would NEVER act like some of those brainless twits (nor any other woman i know personally), but its kind of offputting as most of those women dont satisfy my personal view of women. with yaoi/bl i know the dynamics of those relationships personally, and alot of them seem to fit better into my idea of "reality" i guess you could say. for me, its not so much theres a guy in a traditionally female role, its that there tends to be more equality, sometimes, (shakes fist at drooping violet ukes). i tend to read and write about those kinds of relationships, where it seems like theres a traditional male/female role set, but as you get further on all your traditional lines become blurred and you're left with just the story in and of itself.

Thanks Artemis. I feel better. Oops, we kinda took over the thread there for a bit. But this stuff is really interesting. I have to agree with you. No matter how well a man treats a woman, well, we still get treated like women in real life. I've had guy friends treat me just like one of the males in the group, but they always end up exercising some kind of restraint as far as what they say and do. Or they start going off about stuff that they would talk to other dudes about, and feel the need to apologize for it later for some reason. I suppose they think they offended me or something. I guess in fantasy relationships, they at least have the potential for completely equal footing, even though the seme/uke always enters into it. So I agree with your theory. You can sit and watch/read without the same complications as heterosexual romance. Oh, sure, they're complicated relationships, and have some of the same types of complications as heterosexual relationships, but you can sit and read/watch and take it for exactly what it is- entertainment.
Child of Avalon- Maybe that's why overly girly ukes irritate people? B/c it's too much like a heterosexual romance with a brainless chick, who just happens to be male... I guess that's why yaoi/bl is more enjoyable than typical romance. I've never been really big on romance, but in yaoi/bl it's much more interesting I think. Heterosexual romance stories can become boring and repetitive.

We also like some sex in our yaoi , and with two men, there is equal possibility of being the initiatory party. When there is a heterosexual couple, there is always some niggling thought "isn't she a little forward" if the woman starts. Most of the time, we have also learned some patterns: 'woman do not start sexual intercourse", "she is demure and quiet", "she does not visibly enjoy sex, and for sure not the sex with some SM undertones". I know, it is not such in reality, but in most of the countries, the children stories (princess never kisses first, she waits patiently for her man, she never initiates anything), and books for teenagers, and of course religion promote such a stereotype. If we have a woman initiating sex, then putting her man in bondage and loudly enjoing the intercourse, there would be some part of our mind thinking "she is such a slut!". With two men, we have no such a handicap and they can be equal in the sexual activity. Even if one of the charakters is a very ukified uke, he has more sexual freedom, than woman in such a position. We can even look at the raped uke, and think, that he still enjoys it if he is portrayed as such, and with a raped woman, we have no such illusions.

Even if one of the charakters is a very ukified uke, he has more sexual freedom, then woman in such a position. We can even look at the raped uke, and think, that he still enjoys it if he is portrayed as such, and with a raped woman, we have no such illusions.

WOW, that is a really great point. And I think this touches upon why some yaoi fans enjoy "non-con." I generally look down upon it because rape makes me uncomfortable, but "yaoi non-con" really IS different from heterosexual (or homosexual) rape. It is and ISN'T rape.

Where'd everybody go?

Hello peoples i didn't even see this group well nice to....read your comments?

Hi Beryl!!