Let's debate it on this thread instead
That's my suggestion. Making it available to those that want to reveal their gender it's only fair.
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Let's debate it on this thread instead
That's my suggestion. Making it available to those that want to reveal their gender it's only fair.
Since those who want to reveal their gender can make it visible by adding it on signature, or about me-section on profiles etc. I see no problem with the sites policy to not to ask it. :-k
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I agree with Mor, there are plenty of ways for aarin members to show their genders without making some kind of official profile or postbit field for it.
And like melodysnow said, if you really want to find out what a particular member's gender is, all you have to do is ask. I'm sure they likely won't be offended.
Yeah, but when quoting someone (like I'm doing), I don't know if I should use he or she. I won't wait for that person to reply a PM or VM to write my post... O.o Not even check in his/her posts to see which gender he/she is...Quote:
Originally Posted by commonlogic
And if I use one of it randomly, "he" for example, it will often be a "she" (or the inverse). It's just annoying cause that person will then say "Hey, I'm a girl!!!" Simply annoying... I guess I should use "it" if I don't know the gender... O.o
There need to be more gender-neutral pronouns, really. "It" is definitely an object, not a person. So it's more the fault of the English language than anything ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by SpiritOfTheWinds
I totally get where you're coming from. In that situation, I generally just avoid writing in a way where I need to use "she" and "he" and just refer to people by their screen names. Or I use "they" even though it's gramatically incorrect.
I guess it's just not that important to me because I don't really care if people mess up and call me "he." It's kind've a running joke with some of my friends that people around here who don't know me very well often assume that I'm male. XD
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I don't see why this has become an issue:) I just put both if I feel unsure, i.e. he/she--him/her---his/hers.Quote:
Originally Posted by commonlogic
There are more issues that worth taking time discussing here, imo--like---how to get every members who are able to at least donate some of their pocket money to Aarinfantasy so this site can continue keep up with their wonderful subs for fans.
I'm one of those who would like for my gender to be available on the forums.
For those who don't want it, just ignore it. It won't be compulsory.
Yup, agreed; if you don't like it, just don't fill it out, and there will be no gender sign for you :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by aquamarineAngel
I really dislike when people argue against a suggestion by saying, "It's really not important," because what they mean is, "It's really not important to ME," which ignores the fact that it is something that may be important to other members of the community.
I used to have "AarinGirl" in my signature, but then I realized that was silly because I'm not a girl anymore, so I put "AarinGoddess" (playing on my nick), but that made me seem very erudite and conceited, so then I nixed it altogether. Plus with the signature line limits I don't really even have room for it.
All I'd ask for is a simple symbol, maybe under my username, indicating my gender :) For those who have no desire to display their gender, then no symbol would appear.
We could even have a contest to design the symbols, which would not have to simply constitute "male" and "female" but perhaps someone could even design a "gender neutral" symbol, or an infinite variety of choices.
I have supported a lot of suggestions on this forum that were of no interest to me, but that I felt would enhance the forum experience and make many forumers very happy. So think about your fellow forumers before immediately agreeing or nay-saying a suggestion :)
EDIT: Also, the thing about donating pocket money ... ahh, you know, not everyone has pocket money; some of us are living paycheck to paycheck :( At one point, I had the means to contribute, but I no longer have that means. I'm sure everyone who donate does so because they can, and those who don't, would if they could!
If it really is that important to some, and possible in the forum, then maybe it should be made sometime when the more important issues have been dealed. But does it have to be symbol? Would a simple "male/female/other" work? We already have so much on our profiles and postbit, that even more symbols kinda take it overboard in my opinion. I know that this is not a big deal to majority, but to me it already looks too cluttered.
Hmm, I prefer a symbol, but that is a VERY good point to bring up, since many others have complained about the "busyness" of the profiles and postbit. :-kQuote:
Originally Posted by Mordor
It's not a complain really, but there is a certain amount that my eyes can take before my head goes all dizzy. There is already so much going on, esp. now that we have the awards etc. there as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by Artemis Moonsong
Just an idea to throw out, since so many don't want to put it on sigs anymore and want to see this happen (and Artemis MS always keeps going on about the expressing of ones personality) ... I used to run a forum where there was a possibility to add text under the avatar. I don't know if this is possible with this forum, but if it is, maybe users could use that as their gender-space? And add whatever gender-based statement there, such as Aarindude, AarinGodess etc. It would not be so strict that way, and those who feel like falling to the other-category could express something as well. (Naturally there could be a rule that it has to be used as gender-identifying of sort only, so it wouldn't go overboard.)
//And yes, I am still against this, but just wanting to make sure that if it happens, I could be nothing/other. :lol:
If there is going to be an option, can it please be under the "About me" section. Is gender not part of that anyway? There's already too much stuff in our profiles. I don't see why people can't just write their gender under the biography section. There are already several people who do that.
That's pretty much what I was saying too at first, but it seems that people are too lazy to hop in ones profile to check if it is there or not, when they are writing a post in some thread and replying to someone :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by melodysnow
Can't we take out that location info (I mean, how many fill in where they truly live?)
And use that for stating whatever gender or thing you are? I guess some people might
enjoy it but the postbit and siggie are already so flashy and big and all that, that another thing would be much. (a poll might be nice for people
to pick)
But the gender icons are usually tiny. It could be placed next to the online/offline and rep icons. No harm done.
I agree with simplyme on where the gendering symbol should go...
and I think it is sth needed 'cos then there won;t be a need "hey i'm a GUY/GIRL" whentruthfully you have nothing to judge...
@Mordor when someone is in a hurry, and truthfully when I'm to post in manga threads I am in a hurry to catch my bus, you think I'd have the time to go to a profile to check on a member's gender there, instead of just typing away what I want to say and just have a quick post on his/her post...??? and these kind of things are little details to make our lives easier....
EDIT:
@Artie I just hope that those that we'll use the neutral won't be "do I loo like a she/he to you" if you call them accordingly... :lol:
Well sadly we can't regulate people's personalities :lol: (I kid, I kid! :lol:) so if people continue to bite your head off even after given the gender option, well, such is the way of things :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by tina21
And thanks, SM, that's an awesome place for the symbol! :D Great idea XD
I think people who throw a fit when you accidentally call them by the wrong gender should have their gender stated in bold red text in their signature with flashing exclamation marks. Just saying. :)
No need to get your knickers in a twist :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by tina21
I was just saying that if to some it's such a big deal to know what to use for sure, instead of going with the simple solution (s/he-combo or they) then why not simply check it instead of making such a fuss. I didn't take the busy-factor on account, since I didn't think people would actually come here if they are in a hurry to go someplace else. :rolleyes:
I guess it makes some peoples lives easier. But to me it has worked just fine without this option. I either go with they or s/he, and it has not made my life any more complicated. *shrugs*
And even if you do get this option, it still wouldn't guarantee to make it easier for you. Since it will still be optional. And there are people who don't bother making it visible. So you still have to go with they, or s/he, or adjust your sentences with the screen name so you wouldn't have to use gender-based words, with some people. It would not really make any more difference, since most of those who would put it visible, would be those who already have had it on signature before that~
//Edit: I agree with Fuji. We can't actually see who is behind the screen, so we are allowed to make little mistakes such as stating the wrong gender. It is not a big deal, and people should not be bothered by it.
If you have a problem with people calling you she, when you are a he, or other way around, just make it clear enough what you prefer.
What I feel is that when a person decides to show their gender it already helps us, the people that are reading the posts, to have more insight into the person we are talking to. This is why it's redundant to have it on the Profile: like avatar, number of posts, location, sig lines and cards, it helps us to figure out "who" are we talking to and adapt our answers to that. The ultimate consequence is to bring up post quality.
Now, I believe it's quite obvious that I am female. I find it silly to call myself "aaringirl" or "aarinfemale" or anything like that. However, my issue here is that I want to have the possibility to know at first sight what is who. At an immediate sight.
ladyxzeus: No offense, but to me, you just made it sound like a gender would somehow identify a person.
I get that this was made an issue because the English language makes it an issue, but I sure hope that was the only reason for this topic.
Anyway, I guess everyone has made a valid point by now, and now we just need a staff-members opinion for this. Which kind of is pointless as well, since it has been clear already.
1. The site policy makes it pretty clear that there will be no forcing of stating ones gender, and if there will be male/female/none or other, it is still forcing it in a way.
2. Like someone said before, this has already been suggested before. I am not sure what the staffs response of it was, but since we don't have that option there, I can safely assume that it was either a no, or not for now.
That was exactly what I intended it to sound. Because just the fact that the person chose to reveal their gender as "female" or "male" (this is internet, you can even say "tentacle" and it stands for a gender) already says something about them. And for me it's easier to identify the others by an association of what I think their personality is to their name/avatar. Hopefully I'm not the only one that does her best to talk to a person, and not to an avatar.
Also, now that I think about it "tentacle" is a pretty nice option. I'd choose it if it was available. :3
I understand why people want to have the idenitfication for others. But as it has already been stated that we will not force anyone to identify their gender, asking for a gender icon is a moot point. Furthermore, if there was such an icon, there would be no way to determine if that person was really telling the truth if it is user based.
People who want to have their gender known can already do so in many ways, by having aaringirl/aaringuy text or user bars in their sig, having a note in their profile, etc. And if you really want to you could use the pink smile for girl or blue smile for boy, and yellow for neutral if you want in your sig.
And to be honest, even having the gender icon there is no guarantee that people will call you by that gender. My username has girl in it, and I've been asked if I was a boy before...
And if you want to be polite when quoting someone whose gender you don't know, you can always use the royal "we" which is gender neutral.
ladyxzeus: On internet, I talk to a person too. But gender does not reflect a personality in any way, or reveal what kind of a person one is in any level or detail. And even though people tend to choose an avatar that reflects their personality or a current mood, it is not always the case, and one should not build up ones personality based on them in my opinion.
This is one of the reasons I refuse to announce my gender. I don't want people deciding what kind of a person I must be because of what I have in my pants, and that is what most do even with a little detail such as gender. They stereotype, and they label.
//Sorry for the off-topic :|
EDIT: Thank you for the clarification on this, Cabbi! :D
Gaah, I don't get it. Nobody is talking about forcing anyone to do anything. It's like with the location: some people use it, some don't. You can't varify if they state the truth here too but somehow, the location is not a problem.
Why the 100 and 1 ideas how to show your gender if it can be taken care of with one small icon?
Because, that little tiny icon solves nothing. It would just be a little more work for admin/s and/or Dai.
And yes, it is forcing. Now that we don't have an option like that, if people don't show it in their sigs etc, or join the social groups for different genders, it is not considered odd in any way. They don't like the sig to be cluttered, they have no room there, they are not interested in social groups etc. etc. But if you get an option, where you have to choose one of the choices, meaning male/female/other or no answer, it is forcing in a way. It is like forcing the coming out-process to those who are in the other-field or otherwise don't feel comfortable sharing that bit of personal info about themselves. There will be those, who will start thinking "now that we have this shiny option, why hasn't that and this person set it to their gender yet?" and so on. And that would be, against site policy.
From what I can see, you just want the option to show your gender if you want to.
The option is already there by ways previously stated. Yet some want another option for gender, but from what I'm reading, this option is not so much to id themselves, but so that they can identify others.
For now the icon option will not be happening since once you pick your gender, you are stuck with it. If Dai is able to find a way to have it be optional or changed then maybe this will be opened up again, but as Dai is gonna be busy for a bit, it will not be anytime soon.
No, it's not forcing. It would be forcing if you had to share your gender. If you don't feel comfortable sharing it, then don't. That's the entire point. You don't have to anything. Just ignore this option.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mordor
LOL what? Isn't this too overdramatic? If somebody doesn't state their location, nobody is going to thing anything about it (like: "OMG this person is probably from Mars! O_O) Really, Morg. So because you are afraid that some might think... I don't really know what, about the lack of gender symbol in your postbit, those who want it can't have it? How is that fair?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mordor
And what is against site policy? Thinking? O_O
As I said, gender icons are normal on other forums/sites, some people use it, some don't and this the first time ever I heard about this kind of problem.
I'm one of those who'd welcome the idea of having a small gender icon under/in our postbits. You don't need to fill in anything if you don't want to reveal your gender right? But for those who want their gender to be known, it would be so much more convenient. And there are users who don't like to put the phrase 'aarinGirl/Guy' in their signatures..
Like simplyme said, why go over the lenght of writing something in your profile, joining aaringirls/guys groups, when a small icon could solve it?
I don't think it would do harm to anyone..
To me, even not stating it, is forcing in a way. It is my opinion, and I am sticking with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by simplyme
I actually have personal experience on the matter, and therefore it is not overdramatic on my part. Just because you feel nothing of it, doesn't mean all would be the same way. I have been on a forums before, where it has created huge dramas. A person has not been stating the gender like majority had, and got nasty comments and even full-out bullying of it. I was a staff-member there, and we had to ban quite a few asses for being overly rude, nasty and insulting towards a member just because they had not felt comfortable sharing the info. So, I am cynical. And honestly, I don't think that everyone in this forum can be found thinking. (Hell, I have seriously gotten a few serious questions concerning the location of Mordor. "Is it in Europe? Near Romania?")Quote:
LOL what? Isn't this too overdramatic? If somebody doesn't state their location, nobody is going to thing anything about it (like: "OMG this person is probably from Mars! O_O) Really, Morg. So because you are afraid that some might think... I don't really know what, about the lack of gender symbol in your postbit, those who want it can't have it? How is that fair?
And what is against site policy? Thinking? O_O
And I am not afraid, I just don't see why this should be done.
And the against site policy-comment was obviously made for the forcing-part, that you can't see from my point of view.
Oh. I see. You had some bad experiance and you're cynical so let's not have a gender icon on aarin. :rolleyes:
Anyway! I guess everything depends on Dai and as we know, he's very busy. But, who knows, maybe someday. :D I'm just glad we could discuss it. :)
Sorry, seems like you didn't get my point, which was: Just because you see no issues that might result from this option, or no problem with this, it doesn't mean that they don't exist.Quote:
Originally Posted by simplyme
//Done with this topic now, since Cabbit has answered and I made my concerns clear :)
That answers the question, thanks!!! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by cabbit_girl
I actually want the gender icon for myself, not other people :lol: I just wanna little pink "girl" icon ... I'm silly like that, I know XDDD
If there was one I'd use it... and lie. Since there isn't i'm fine being genderless.
I've been on plenty of sights with the gender option and rarly used it simply beacuse I prefer the privacy. Other times I think it's fun to make people guess.
There are always curious people or ready to start emo flame wars over any little thing either way.
Great! Thanks! That would be awesome to have it "optional".Quote:
Originally Posted by cabbit_girl
i agree with you...it's up to you if you want to share your gender to your friends but for privacy reasons, let;s leave it be :hot:Quote:
Originally Posted by Deshera
Mmm...
I guess in Real Life, gender is overrated... (I know about that, since many in my country still think that being female means you are less that males... which is fairly stupid. :crazy:)
As for me, I've never had problem with people calling me either a "he" or a "she"... but the Bartz gender still needs to be discovered and written about in science books to know what I truly am because not even I know hehehe :raiseheart:
It's nice to have a place in the online life where people can call you what you wish you were or what you feel you are (y'know, all the "brain gender" issue? ^w^).
I remember back in high school our group was one with the most homosexual and bisexual members (me included) and we were usually beaten up by others in school just because of that. And our principal once said: "Does a penis or vagina mean so much? People are not aknowledged for what hangs beneath their pants but for who they are." I guess that's just the right thing and why Internet is so special :D
:amen:
I really have no opinion on this debate as I don't care for it. Whatever the staff decides I'll go with it, but seems like it won't be an option.